Over the years, I became a mother to four beautiful daughters. I worked hard to meet my children's needs and support my husband's growing career. I would periodically find my husband's porn and try to set boundaries; however, I now know that when there are deep-seated sexual secrets in an intimate relationship, it's impossible to know what's actually going on. I lived in a state of fog for years. I denied my own internal warning signals and shut down my intuition. The control he had on me was my own personal hell, and I struggled to articulate it in a way where I could see the truth of the situation. I now refer to this as intimate terrorism. My innate sense of responsibility, agreeableness, and loyalty kept me in a spiral of working harder in order for the marriage to survive. 

My spiritual life has always been important to me, and I raised my young family within a religious community that valued the sanctity of marriage. In this environment, the marriage took priority over my personal autonomy, and I remained in this relationship for 27+ years. My emotional, physical, and psychological safety was not the focus as much as forgiving his transgressions and coming back to a place of believing words and not actions. He was skilled at portraying outwardly to clergy, therapists, and friends that he was a man of integrity and that I was the one broken because of my childhood trauma.

This kept me stuck in a cycle of confusion, peacekeeping, and working harder to feel like I was enough.

I suffered years of autoimmune conditions and physical exhaustion from denying my own reality and safety. 

In early 2020, I found out my husband was not the man I thought I married. A situation with the law unveiled years of covert behavior and long held secrets. I was completely upside down in my head and heart and realized my life was a product of two separate realities. This betrayal trauma opened up a strength in me I had never known before. 

Recovering from betrayal and reckoning with the fact that I was in an abusive marriage was excruciating.  The first thing I did was print a copy of My Relationship Rights online and affirmations from The Adult Chair®. I taped them everywhere. I had lost the connection with myself, and I needed to start from the very basics of who I was and my inherent rights as a human being. Years of projected shame that I felt it in my body needed to be released.

The cognitive dissonance was overwhelming.

Rebuilding a life is hard and heavy work. I felt depleted, and it took time to regulate my nervous system. I was living in a constant freeze state, and as I began to create safety in my environment, I struggled to feel my emotions. As I listened to The Adult Chair and allowed the flow of my emotions and feelings, I began to build trust within my own body. I saw how, in feeling my emotions, I was honoring those parts of me that didn’t have a voice but wanted to be seen and felt.

I learned to calm the inner critic and thank her for trying to keep me safe.

Compassion and kindness towards myself was essential. 

The injustice and lack of remorse from my husband was challenging. I went down a very dark path trying to make sense of his actions. Thankfully, I was shown an illuminated truth that his choices were not personally about me even though it affected me. The work of my healing was going to be fundamentally energetic. This was my wake up call to shift myself towards the light.

The more my light grew within me, the more I was able to see that this was the only way to have freedom over the darkness. 

My life looks very different now, and I have been gifted with a passion to help women learn to tap into their own light and intuition as they reconnect to the parts in them that are calling to be seen, heard, and loved.

I want to help women learn to trust themselves and break the patterns and cycles that have kept them from their most authentic selves.

To learn to create a safe and peaceful life.

To honor their energy and emotions as well as find their personal power and renewed sense of purpose.

This is sacred and authentic work. It's a gift to walk alongside women on their journey homeward. 

I would be honored to walk alongside you on this journey of becoming who you were always meant to be as you learn to trust yourself again. Using the tools in The Adult Chair model, I will help you reconnect to those parts of you that have become fractured and isolated.

There is hope and healing in this process, and you can rewrite the next chapter and live your life in a way that honors you, your story, and your life.
You can find joy again. I’m living proof, so let's get started!

Let’s grow your inner light and begin the journey towards your own personal transformation.